Entries categorized as ‘Jokes’
Lú chok-ka sin chheh hoat-piáu hōe.
Chi̍t ê lú tiān-iáⁿ bêng-chheⁿ kiâⁿ óa khì kā kóng: “Lí ê chok-phín siá liáu chiok chán, chúi-chún chiok kôan! Tio̍h –lah,” Iáⁿ-chheⁿ iōng chi̍t ê kún-sńg-chhiò ê kháu-khì kè-sio̍k kóng,” sī siáⁿ-lâng thè lí siá–ê?”
Lú chok-ka kóng:” Khí-kám! Khí-kám!” Jiân-āu koh iōng khau-sé ê khùi-kháu mn̄g:” si siáⁿ-lâng thè lí tha̍k–ê?”
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A female author was having a party to celebrate the publishing of her new book.
A female movie star walked over to her and said: “Your work is so well written, and of such high quality. So,” the starlet continued in a joking way, “who wrote it for you?”
The authoress said, “Oh, it’s nothing really.” She continued mockingly, asking (the movie star), “who read it for you.”
Original joke here.
Categories: Insults · Jokes
Lé-pài-ji̍t8 tāi-ke chò-hóe beh khì kàu-tn̂g chò lé-pài.
A-bú the̍h8 2 kâi 50 kho· ê gîn-kak-á hō· 10 hòe ê A-Koan. Koh te̍k8-pia̍t8 kau-tài chit ê hō· i, chit ê ài hòng-hiàn hō· Siōng-tè.
In hoaⁿ-hoaⁿ hí-hí tàu-tīn kiâⁿ chhut mn̂g.
A-Koan ná chhiùⁿ koa, pòaⁿ kiâⁿ pòaⁿ chông. Bô tú-hó sòa po̍ah8 1 tó. 1 kâi 50 kho· ê gîn-kak-á sòa lìn tùi pâi-chúi-kau lo̍h8–khì.
I tōa siaⁿ hoah kóng:” A-bú, Siōng-tè ê chîⁿ lak bô–khì ah!”
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On Sunday morning, everyone was getting ready to church together.
The mother took two 50-kuai coins and gave them to ten-year-old Koan, and told him that one was for him, and the other was for giving to God.
Then they cheerfully walked out of the door together.
Singing a song, Koan went along half walking and half running. Then he happened to take a spill, and one of the 50-kuai coins rolled into the sewer.
He cried out loudly, ” Mom! I lost God’s money!”
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Original joke here.
Categories: Jokes
Thâu-mo͘ khah lāu
Khó-chhì-chóa ū chit ê būn-tê : Ūi-hô thâu-mo͘ pí chhùi-chhiu khah tāi-seng pe̍h ?
1 ê thian-châi ha̍k-seng ê tap-àn sī : Thâu-mo͘ pí chhùi-chhiu khah chá 15 nî hoat–chhut-lâi , khah lāu. Só͘-í seng pe̍h.
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Hair is older
On the test paper was this question: Why does your hair turn white before your beard?
One bright student replied: Hair is older since it comes out 15 years before your beard, so it turns white first.
Original joke here.
Categories: Jokes
Mark Twain ū chi̍t8-pái tī pêng-iú tau kòe mê. Tē jī kang beh chia̍h8 chá-tǹg ê sî, pêng-iú mn̄g I khòaⁿ “Beh lim- -chi̍t8-poe-bô?”
“m̄-bián, to-siā.” Mark Twain chin ū lé-sò·.
“Sī án-choaⁿ m̄?”
Mark Twain chin chèng-keng kā I kóng : “3 ê lí-iû ! Tē -it, góa sī kài-chiú chú-gī chiá ; tē -jī, chia̍h8 chá-tǹg chêng góa m̄ lim-chiú ; tē -saⁿ, góa chá-khí í-keng lim 6 poe- -a !”
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Once Mark Twain was spending the night at the house of a friend. In the morning when they were about to eat breakfast, his friend asked him, “Would you like to have a drink?”
“No need. Thanks.” Twain politely replied.
“Why not?”
Twain said to him very solemnly, “Three reasons! First, I’m a teetotaler. Second, I never drink liquor before breakfast. And three, I’ve already had six drinks this morning!”
Original joke here.
Categories: Jokes
Mary chhōa 6 ê kiáⁿ chē hóe-chhia. Ka-phiò-ôan lâi ê sî, Mary kā kóng:
“Chit 2 ê 12 hòe, chôan-phiò; hit 2 ê 9 hòe kap lēng-gōa hit 2 ê 6 hòe lóng pòaⁿ-phiò.”
Ka-phiò-ôan ná ka-phiò ná mn̄g: “Hu-jîn, góa khah kāu-ōe–chı̍t–sut–á. Lí kiám ta̍k pái lóng seⁿ 2 ê–sio·h?”
“Bô it-tēng,” Mary khin-siaⁿ kā ìn, “ū-sî chı̍t ê mā bô.”
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Mary was taking her six kids on the train. When the conductor came (to check their tickets), Mary told him:
“These two are 12 years old, so they’re full-fare; those two are nine, and the other two are six, so they’re all half-price.”
As the conductor punched their tickets, he asked, “Ma’am, sorry to be nosy, but did you have two kids every time?”
“Not really,” Mary answered in a whisper, “sometimes we didn’t even have one.”
[Original joke here.]
Categories: Jokes
Góan Bó͘ Beh Seⁿ Kiáⁿ
Siàu-liân lâng chhiong-ji̍p-khì thâu-ke ê pān-kong-sek, beh chhéng-ká chi̍t tiám-cheng. ” Góan bó͘ beh seⁿ kiáⁿ !” I án-ne kái-soeh.
” Hó, kín khì.” Thâu-ke chin a-sá-lih kā tap-èng.
Kòe chi̍t tiám-cheng siàu-liân – - ê tńg-lâi siōng-pan. Thâu-ke chin koan-sim kā mn̄g:
” Seⁿ cha-po͘- -ê ā-sī cha-bó͘- -ê ?”
Siàu-liân- -ê chhiò-chhiò-á kā ìn :” Chit-má m̄ chai. Ài koh tán 9 kò-go̍eh !”
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A young man runs into his boss’ office, wanting to take an hour off. “We’re going to have a baby!” he explains.
His boss simply replies, “OK, get going then.”
After an hour, the young man returns to work. His boss is very concerned and asks him:
“Was it a boy or a girl?”
The young man laughed and answered: “Don’t know yet…have to wait nine more months.”
Categories: Family · Jokes · Work
Báng-á Chah Chhiú-tiān
2 lâng tī iá-gōa lō͘-iâⁿ. Báng-á chiok chē, hiⁿ -hiⁿ kiò, hāi in khùn bē lo̍h8 bîn. In chiū kā kui seng-khu kap thâu-khak lóng chhàng tī mî-phōe lāi. Kòe chi̍t-ē-á in thàm thâu chhut-lâi khòaⁿ, báng-á lóng poe-cháu- -khì a. Chit sî, In khòaⁿ-tio̍h chi̍t tīn hóe-kim-ko͘, kî-tiong chi̍t ê lâng hoah kóng :
” Chit siaⁿ bái- -a. Báng-á koh lâi – -ah. Chit pái In koh chah chhiú-tiān-á !”
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Two men were camping outdoors. There were a lot of mosquitoes buzzing in their ears and they couldn’t get to sleep. So they they covered up their whole bodies and heads with their blankets. After a while, they stuck their heads out to look, and the mosquitoes had all flown off. (But) then they saw a bunch of lightning bugs, and one of the mean yelled out:
“Now we’re in trouble! The mosquitoes are back, and this time they brought flashlights!”
Categories: Jokes
Lú :” Lí beh jû-hô chèng-bêng lí ài- -góa?”
Lâm :” Góa nā siūⁿ tio̍h lí, góa tio̍h khùn bē khì.”
Lú :” He bē-tàng chèng-bêng lí ài- -góa ! Góan lāu-pē nā siūⁿ-tio̍h góa mā khùn bē khì !”
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Woman: How can you prove that you love me?
Man: When I think of you, I can’t sleep.
Woman: That doesn’t prove that you’re in love with me! When my father thinks of me, he can’t sleep either!
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(Original joke here.)
Categories: Jokes · Relationships
Bo̍k8-su iàu-kiû hōe-chiòng chīn-liōng koan chîⁿ thang khí sin kàu-tn̂g. Ū chi̍t8-ê thàn-chia̍h8 cha-bó· koan 25 kho·.
Bo̍k8-su kā kóng:” Lí che sī lah-sap-chîⁿ , góan bē-tàng siu!”
Āu-piah ū 1 ê cha-po· — ê hoah kóng:” Kā siu — lo̍h8-lâi lah. Hôaiⁿ-ti̍t8 hiah ê chîⁿ pún-chiâⁿ mā sī lán ê!”
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A minister was exhorting his congregation to donate money to build a new church. A prostitute (came up and) gave 25 dollars.
The minister said to her, “We cannot accept this dirty money of yours!”
A man in the back shouted out, “Oh, just take it! It was our money to start with anyway!”
Original joke here.
Categories: Jokes · Religion and Morality
Father: Where’s your mother?
Daughter: She’s at the door talking with Mrs. Chen from next door.
Father: How long has it been?
Daughter: Almost an hour.
Father: Why doesn’t she invite her in to sit down?
Daughter: She says she’s too busy!
Categories: Jokes
